Monday, October 5, 2015

Do you need a tampon?

At about 3.30am on Sunday I was asked by my new neighbour if I needed a tampon. The reason? I had told him and his mates to get in from their balcony and close the door and continue their party inside. The balcony in question is metres from my bedroom window.

The party is over

The gist of the neighbours' argument for being able to make as much noise as they liked was threefold.

It was a long weekend, I should close my bedroom window and I must be on my period.

When you are up against intellectual grunt like this it's hard not to be speechless, but I managed to find a few sledges, especially when I had to tell them three times over an hour to shut the F*** up. I may have made mention of my neighbour's ability to win a Nobel Prize judging on his intellectual capacity...

My new neighbour invited me in for a Vodka but I told him I wasn't interested as I would drink him under the table.

Twenty-four hours later and I was at it again because they were at it again. My neighbour professed undying love for me and said they would try to be a bit quieter. I told the gang of three I would get them evicted. One of them realised I may have been serious and took the party indoors.

Seriously. I live in row of townhouses with another row behind us. The teenagers and I have been here almost three years and love it. We've never had a problem with anything until these morons moved in a few weeks ago.

I made my point by emailing the Body Corporate and all the owners at 3.35am today. At least they are aware of what has happened.

Next step is to get the bogans to clean up the rubbish that has dropped from their balcony onto our well-maintained gardens.

Maybe it is their first time living away from home? I feel as if I am in a time warp.

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